when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
