Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
