I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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