At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My ass is underappreciated
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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