yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
