you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
