She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
