Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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