shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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