totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
