This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
