I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
