why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Randomize
