Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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