Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
