take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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