I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
