remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
