maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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