I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
