thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize