went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
