At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
