This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
