i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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