these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
