Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
