Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Pants are for mortals
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
