WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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