I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
