first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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