What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
