Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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