Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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