Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
