Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think I just sharted jello shots
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