it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
