We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ttyl tear gas
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
