i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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