fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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