Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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