She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
