Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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