I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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