I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
