Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
