I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Someone shattered a urinal.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
