I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
