grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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