Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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