I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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