is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
